I DON’T WANT TO CARE ANYMORE!

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What is this place you are calling me to, O God? This place where it is just you and I and nothing else! A new place that I have never been before – a place other than the traditions of men. A place other than a church service, a conference, an event. What is this place, Father? What does it mean to get there? How do we get there? How is this place you are calling me to supposed to mean more to me than anything else? My family, my friends, my career, my dreams, my goals, my life. How do I get to a place of longing for you above everything else, so much to where my heart aches if I am not in your presence? How?

Okay, you say that it is a choice that I must make to go there – to get there. It has to come from me and only me and no one else. It has to become a choice that I have made to run after you in this way. Oh, it has to become everything to me, and then I may come? I have to choose to push everything aside and let myself go. I have to want it more than anything else. I have to say “no” to things that come to distract me, and even when I do allow distractions to come in, I immediately ask for your forgiveness because not disappointing you in any way is my new priority. That’s how? In other words, I have to not care anymore.

I know you are a God of love, so I know you want me to care; but, that is not what you are saying. You want me to not care anymore about the “how,” when you want me to trust you. You want me to not care anymore about the situation when you tell me not to be afraid. You want me to not care anymore about how things are going to work out. You want me to not care anymore when people hurt me and slander my name. You want me to not care anymore when I am not well in my body and trust that you will heal. You want me to not care anymore, no matter how hard things get. I will keep my eyes on you. You want me to not care anymore about my safety because I am in your loving arms and You are my Protector! You want me to not care anymore about what direction I must take because you are my guide – my fire by night and my cloud by day! You want me to not care anymore! You want me to let it all go! You want me to surrender everything that I have ever known, and release it to you with my heart and through my mouth! You want me to say it to you directly and know that it is complete and at peace in my heart. You want me to not care anymore about who doesn’t understand it. You want me to not care anymore!

From when I started this journey with you, Lord, a long time ago, that has been something I have always prayed and asked of you. I always, even to this day say… “Father, I don’t want to care anymore!” I then ask you to take it all from me and teach me how to be in this new place of what I am asking of you. I never knew how it would go or end up. What I needed from you was so much greater than my knowing how you would do it. I chose to not care anymore. I am so thankful for this undertaking in my life that is continual every day that I want everyone to know about it and how freeing it is! This doesn’t mean we won’t be tested on every side but what it does mean is that we get to battle and be made over and over and over from a different place – that new place in our Father that is not explainable but definitely obtainable.

My heart pleads to the Father for every heartbeat of His Creation to welcome the new place the Father wants to have with you, and for you to not care anymore! I love you so much, in Jesus’ Name.